Bowling 2

Bowling. Now there is a subject you don’t hear much about on these forums but you are gonna now. My dang leg hurts as I mentioned in a previous post because I tore a ham string today. I followed the doctors orders and took something for the pain and it don’t hurt all that much now. Segrams 7 and Coconut Rum with Diet Coke will numb anything if applied in suficant quanity.

Heck, I just proved it worked because I just moved a bunch of logs and mowed some of my lawn, the hard part where I could not get the rider into.

For some reason I started thinking about Bowling. Now I ain’t been a bowling in many years. I was always the worse bowler on any team I was on except one. I have been thrown out of a bowling alley for throwing the dang ball too hard. Twasn’t my falt either. I got these skinny little fingers and most bowling alleys don’t rent mens balls that will fit me. Thus I gotta use a womans ball. Mans ball is 16 lbs and womans is 10 or 12. If I rented back then, I had to use a womans ball.

This had to be back in the 60’s some time. I might not have even been married, I don’t remember but Larry and I decided to go bowling. We went the Orchard Lanes and I started looking for a mans bowling ball that would fit me. There were none as usual. I checked the womans balls and found one that fit, a 12 pounder.

Now my bowling approach sucks but that is the way I always bowled. My backswing is almost straight over my head and that gives me a pretty fast ball. A good bowler does not throw a fast ball because the ball can not get any spin on it. It just blasts a hole through the pins and I always got a lot of splits. That is one of the results of learning with a sissy girly ball though.

Come to think about it, we had also been at the Silvan Lanes that night too but they encouraged us to leave to. I can not remember why but it was probaly justified. I have not always been the gentilman I am today.

This was back when there were still pin boys. In fact I had started my first job as a pin boy at this very bowling alley. We went down to the alley and put out balls the rack. There were three or four womans balls in the rack already but it was ok. We started a bowling.

Well I was loose and a whippin it down the alley and after a game I noticed the little turd setting the pins was only giving me one ball. I would throw one ball and he would send it back and rack the pins. The next day, with a clearer head I decided I might have been throwing the ball too hard and he was trying to tell me something. Larry said he had heard him scream just before he started cutting me short. We rolled the second game that way and I will tell you, it was not my best game.. I think I rolled a 62 or something like that. What the heck, no strikes and not a chance to get a spare and I was getting pizzed. On reflection I suspect there was a pizzed off pin boy down there too.

I finally went storming back to the manager and told him what the little punk was a doing. He came down and said he would watch. I threw a ball and back came the ball and the pins were racked. I look at the manager and he says nothing. I sorta figure he was on the pinboys side anyhow. I can not blame him actually. I asked him if he saw that and he just shrugged. Larry bowled. I looked back at the manager and stomped up to the ball rack and grabbed my ball. Well I thought it was my ball. Darned thing looked like my ball but it was one of the extras it seems and only a 10 pounder and the thumb hole was an itty bitty smaller. I lined up and started my approach. I whipped that dang ball down the alley with all my might and since the ball was 2 lbs less than I expected and the thumb hole was smaller than necessarey, that dang ball went into orbit. It stuck to my thumb for a bit longer than normal, liked to have pulled it off actually and didn’t hit the alley until about a foot in front of the head pin!! By golly I got a strike that time!! I also had a pizzed off manager a screaming at me and a pinboy back there squalling like a mashed cat and Larry a laughing as if he was in his right mind. I still didn’t realize what had happened . I never saw nobody throw a dang bowling ball that dang far. Larry knew I had the wrong ball but wanted to see if my thumb would come off.

Upshot of it all is that we got thrown out, as I should have but we didn’t have to pay for what we bowled.

Heck, this was not even the story I started to tell. :D

Hard to believe that I was once an AH ain’t it? Hahahahahahhahahaha