Fiddler Crab

Fiddler Crab
Posted By: Royal (198.208.223.35)
Date: Monday, 3 June 2002, at 8:48 a.m.
Arkie John's story reminded me of a stunt I pulled that I never would have occasion to tell.
My old diving buddy Ray who is now passed, and I had just come home from a dive, under the ice on a local lake. We were tired and a bit cold from our adventure so we were setting at his kitchen table, having a cup of coffee or three. You come out of the water after 20 minutes or so and hypothermia has you a thinking a bit loose sometimes. That is what I am blaming this on anyway.
We were setting there and a gabbing when his daughter came walking up. She was about 12 at the time. She was all smiles. Royal! Look at what I got, she beams up to me!
I looked in her hand and she had a damn fiddler crab. You know, one of those things they sell in pet shops for the aquariums. It was not too big. Bigger than a quarter but smaller than a half, as I remember it. She was holding it up so proud like, that I just couldn't ignore her. I held out my hand and she dropped it in my palm. I don't remember for sure but it probably was a female, as I don't remember a big claw.
She said its name was Sammy. With that, I said," I heard they are suppose to be good to eat" and popped it in my mouth! I didn't let it run around or nothing and didn't crunch the thing. I just let it set there and looked at her like I appreciated the gift. I looked at Ray and he was giving me a look like he thought I had finally slipped a cog! She starts a squalling like that idiot blond on, All In The Family! Waaaaa! Dadddyyy! Ray spit his coffee all over the table and with that I just popped the thing back into my hand, unhurt like. I said, "What's wrong with you? Didn't you want me to eat it?" She kept looking at the crab and back tome like she could not believe it. Ray was spitting and sputtering about someone being a damn idiot and a wiping the table and his chin. His daughter just walked off and kept looking back at me like she figured I was nuts.
I started laughing about then. Ray blabbed that story all over the shop the next day. I will tell you it was a spur of the moment thing that I would never have done if I had given it any thought. If that damn thing had grabbed my tongue with its pincher I figure it would have been far funnier to them.
The damn crab died the next week and I think his daughter still blames me for it!!
I am lucky as I did not get sick